One of those days...

You know those days where in the middle you wish you could just quickly go back to bed and start over? Ya, it was one of those days.

I'm so glad my children are still so young and forgiving! I'm glad my husband and I are open enough to just accept when it was a bad day and recognize when to just let it go and move on. And I'm glad I have great friends that I can talk to! Friends that don't think less of me, nor see my shortcomings as a definition of my character. Who understand that I really am just having one of those 'trying to balance life' kind of days. And who listen with love and offer such great words of advice and understanding.

I'm trying so hard to be positive these days, despite my best efforts I feel like I have an internal meltdown just about every week. I want so badly to just have it together, to be so calm and collected, to be the 'adult' in my relationship with my children. Let's face it. As much as I want that to be normal, so many days I'm fighting so hard just get a glimpse of it! But when I do get one of those days... The days where kids are well fed and well slept, who play together and make me laugh, when the house is clean and meals are cooked and I even get that one quiet moment to read or take a quick nap... I appreciate it that much more. I'm ok with the fact that I strive for that to be my 'normal.' And I'm ok with how much effort it seems to take! Because, despite how I see it right now, days like today happen few and far in between. But days like that, the good ones, happen much more often than I realize. Like tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a day like that. It will be.

Healthy and Fit for LIFE

These past couple of months I have put more effort into motivating others to get healthy. I don't just motivate random people, these are people I've spoken with and have asked to be a part of my small support/challenge groups. I'm so excited this is a part of my life! I know how much support and encouragement I needed, and I love paying it forward!

Health and Fitness are two of my passions, and I was always afraid to talk about it. For fear of offense or criticism. But this is a way to really help people! I love hearing how jeans that didn't fit for years fit after just a few days and/or begin to fall off altogether! I love seeing the change in confidence! I love seeing how an entire marriage or family changes because the mama is regaining control of her health and improving her mood and stamina in the process! A LOT of people come to me for advice, and only a few commit to a challenge. But the ones who do, make it worth all the time and effort I put into my challenge groups! Seeing others create happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives is the best job ever. Second, of course, to being wife and mom to my own sweet family!

I love what I do!!

So Much To Learn

I always love a good visit with my Grandma Alice. I could talk to her forever. And I love to hear what she has to say, especially from all her years of experience.

She's been in town this week, and today she spent most of the day at my house with the kiddos. When they went down for naps we had a great chance to visit. I love how she will ask a question and really listen for the answer. Talking things out always has helped me. The key for me lately is to stop at talking something out and not letting evolve into negativity or complaining. And today I was able to put that to the test!

I have mentioned a couple of times that I know number 4 is not my last baby. So during that quiet moment this afternoon she asked me a little more about that. I was able to really express my confirmations and testimony about how I feel about my calling in life to have these kids. I was able to express why I feel The Lord has prompted me to have them so close. I was able to really just talk and not feel like I was being judged by my choices, but rather, she sought to understand how I felt. I need to be better about listening to people this way. She's a little further ahead of me on the maturity scale, but maybe I can catch up before I'm a great grandma!

I really appreciated the opportunity to visit with my Grandma today! I know I say this a lot, but I am just so glad I'm close to family! This is a dream come true for me, since I can remember I wanted to raise my children close to family, I've always felt that this would help us all learn who we are, and there is something so special about a family bond... Sure we are dysfunctional at times, but that's the fun of it!

This picture I took of my Grandma Alice holding baby Alice right after she learned her name. She had no idea we were thinking of naming our baby after her, and she was just soaking in the moment! So glad I got this picture of such a special moment!

Generations

My grandmother has been visiting with my family this week. I love talking with her, I always have. Alice is especially enjoying her time with Great-Grandma Alice. She understands that is who she got her name from, so naturally she needs to be glued to her side. I love watching her connect with her Great Grandma! I love seeing her tell story after story and, like she would for me, my grandma is fully engaged. I'm learning that I need to take more opportunities to just sit and listen to my babies. The housework seems to distract me so much! I wish there were two of me! One to cook and clean and the other to engage with my kids at every moment!

I love family history! I love my family! And I love that my children will KNOW their family! So glad to be home!

Nothing to complain about

I was having an interesting conversation with someone at church today. It left me pretty drained and feeling a little hopeless. I didn't really say much in the conversation, the other person did, but it surely didn't leave a very uplifting atmosphere for my spirit.... I thought back to times when I was that complaining, pessimistic person... Life is hard when you look at things that way, and there never seems to be a solution to your problems. Totally lame.

Today, scrolling through my news feed, struggling to find a way to express how I felt, I read someone's totally inspired status.

"Today I asked someone at church how they were doing. And they said something like, 'good... nothing to complain about... Well, there is stuff I could complain about, but it wouldn't make things any better.'

True. True."

It was perfect! Honest. Real. And positive. At least, I thought so.

Little moments

Tonight was the end of a very, very long day. We visited a different library today, the kiddos and I, and the girls grabbed a TON of books! I loved it! We have gone through our own collection a few times already. I love the library! I even grabbed a book for myself. I'm excited to finally take a few moments to let my mind be filled with something other than my to do list!

As the evening came on, and a fun visit from grandma and grandpa, the kids began to get whiny and restless. It's been extremely nice not to have a TV in our home, but I'll admit, I've turned to Netflix at least once a week for a moment or two of distracted and contained children so I could clean or get things done. Since yesterday was that day, I had to suck it up and take in the tantrums.

Then within an instant, they were all sound asleep. Literally, an instant. It was one of those bedtimes where no one got up... Not even made a sound. Alice got up around the time Spencer and I were going to bed, to go to the bathroom. I intercepted her on her way back to her bed. I held her for a really long minute. She's not typically very cuddly, but I took advantage of that quiet, tired moment to cuddle my nearly 4 yr old. We haven't cuddled like that since I nursed her... Unless she was sick.... I so needed it. She needed it. And when Spencer found us, he got his turn too. She fell asleep smiling. It was a great moment. I'm gathering that she will be the child I struggle the most to connect with, she's a daddy's girl through and through. I've been praying a lot lately to know how to create a stronger bond with her. I think this is it. One on one attention, and taking advantage of those quiet moments. She is a brilliant little girl, and I love being her mommy!

Baby #4

The last few weeks have been full of wonderful confirmations that I am exactly where I am supposed to be! I hit this stage of pregnancy, and it is totally bittersweet. I can feel our precious little Lacy Anne moving all over, and my back feels like it is split in two. After a week of some of the worst back pain to date, I'm finally up and moving. We have found that happy medium between pain and enjoyment. I am not particularly fond of actually being pregnant, but I love feeling this tiny little human fidget and wiggle throughout the day. I'm still amazed at the entire process that surrounds pregnancy, childbirth, nursing, and motherhood.

Tonight I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a class about family history. All ladies present shared stories and insights about their family history and the blessings that come from doing genealogy. It made me appreciate my mom and all she has done to learn about our family, and Spencer's grandpa who diligently kept records of everything and published a book about his family. I'm so motivated to pass the legacy of family importance on to my kids. I am so grateful to have the knowledge and testimony of Forever Families! I'm so grateful to have a Christ-centered home, and a wonderful family to fill it with!

And lastly, I've been thinking a lot about how much I've changed over the past few years... I've made friends, lost friends, and reconnected with friends, over these changes. I have learned a valuable lesson through it all, as long as I am on the path The Lord has intended for me to be on, I will have the strength and support I need to overcome any trial or obstacle I have before me.

Anyway, this picture is me at 24 weeks pregnant... 16 to go!