Memorial Day

I think this is the first Memorial Day I have spent with a wounded soldier.  It is creating new meaning.  I am so grateful for Jeremy, and his sacrifice.  Because of him, my brother-in-law was able to come home alive to my sister, and over 25 other men's lives were spared.   He almost lost his life.  Last summer he was nearing the end of his tour in Afghanistan, he had just a couple weeks left before he came home... for reasons only our Heavenly Father can explain, he had all of his protective gear on and was headed out of their little compound to speak to another soldier about a possible shift change.   It was then that a rogue Afghani soldier was headed their direction.  He had his gun.... an automatic rifle that shot 200 rounds per minute.  Jeremy and this soldier locked eyes. Jeremy knew his intentions.  He didn't even have a moment to pull up his weapon before he was disabled and on the ground.  He was shot 12 times in a matter of seconds and suffered 20 or so bullet wounds (some of which are STILL healing).  This soldier decided not to finish his job, turned around, and ran. Several other soldiers were shot as well, but Jeremy took the brunt of it.  I am so grateful to the soldiers, including my brother-in-law, who kept him alive and literally saved his life.  He is such a great person.  My kids love him, and Alice is always talking about him to other people, an how "he got shot from the bad guys".  Little does she know now, that his sacrifice has brought so many blessings.  Jeremy is a fighter.  He has been such an example of selflessness to me.  He is remarkably humble, and wants so badly to be a husband and father.  He loves my kids and they love him. Well, we all love Jeremy!

Have a Great Memorial Day! And let us take a moment to remember what it is all about!

Letting Go...

Sometimes it is time to just let go of any awkward, unresolved feelings.  Lately, as I have had my 'not so proud' moments, I find that I punish myself by reminding myself of all of my failures as a wife, mom and friend.

Tonight, I am making a better effort to just let it go. To forgive my shortcomings. To continue on my path to being a positive and uplifting influence in the lives of those around me.  I am not perfect. I struggle with this every day, but I will figure this out!

My current goal is to stop yelling... like ever.  I never want to raise my voice again. (check out that awesome link!) I want to be as quiet in my discipline as I possibly can.  Without the TV, the noise level has significantly decreased, and I want to keep it that way.  We feel that for our family, getting rid of the outside noise is a key component to inviting the Spirit into our home. 

"Doing all we can to invite the gentle, guiding influence of the Holy Ghost into our lives is critical in our attempts to center our homes on the Savior. Acting obediently on those promptings strengthens us even more.

Greater peace will come as you couple your efforts to be obedient with serving those around you. So many individuals who have what they perceive to be meager talents humbly and generously use those talents to bless the lives of those around them. Selfishness is the root of great evil. The antidote for that evil is exemplified in the life of the Savior. He shows us how to focus our lives outward in unselfish service to others.

I have learned a truth that has been repeated so frequently in my life that I have come to know it as an absolute law. It defines the way obedience and service relate to the power of God. When we obey the commandments of the Lord and serve His children unselfishly, the natural consequence is power from God—power to do more than we can do by ourselves. Our insights, our talents, our abilities are expanded because we receive strength and power from the Lord. His power is a fundamental component to establishing a home filled with peace." Elder Richard G Scott "For Peace at Home"

Laundry

Don't you just strongly dislike when you fall behind on the laundry? 

I try so hard to get in the habit of doing one load a day... As our family grows this is becoming increasingly important yet difficult to achieve. 

So it is, that keeping up with the laundry is the perfect metaphor for my life right now. 

So much of my sanity comes from consistency in the little things. Scripture study, prayers morning and night, journaling, exercise, husband time, play time with the babies, small and simple acts of kindness and service are among the things that if I do them daily I can maintain a positive spirit in our home.

Now.... Do I do these things?! ....sometimes.... What is the result of this??? Not sanity I can assure you... Try narcissistic, neurotic, borderline bipolar.... Etc. 

This. Must. Change. And it starts with me! 

Now, back to the laundry. One load at a time. 

The Temple, Texas Thunderstorms and the Third Trimester!

I finally had an opportunity to attend the San Antonio LDS Temple since being back home.  It seems that this is the longest I had been without attending since I first received my recommend.  It was truly a testimony builder for me.  Not only have I been trying to go for quite some time, but when I finally hit the road to actually go, one of the biggest accidents EVER had to take place in my path. Making me miss the session I was to attend, and I still haven't found out all of the details to see if everyone was ok in the accident.... I had left the house with AMPLE time for an accident, but, apparently, not one of this nature. It took me an hour to go less than 8 miles....  an hour. And the temple is 16 miles from our house. 

After a while of being in this traffic I finally call Spencer to see what is going on and where the traffic stops.  Come to find out they are completely directing traffic off the highway because of the accident...  There is no way around it at this point. I am stuck.  So, naturally, being as pregnant as I am, I begin to cry.  I felt so defeated.  I needed to be in that particular session because Spencer and I had a phone conference that evening.  But there was absolutely no way I was going to make it in time for the temple session.  I had prepared as much as possible. The stress level was high when I left because of the upcoming phone meeting and a few other big things happening all at once... cuz that's how we roll, we are overly ambitious I guess...  Anyway, I was just very overwhelmed with the desire to be at the temple and feeling like it was once again being stripped from my grasp.  Spencer sympathized a great deal and we decided that it would be best if I skipped the meeting to go to the later session.  Everything seemed to be coming together...  I was even able to make it in time to grab a nice quiet bite to eat before the session... It turned out better than I had expected.  I truly enjoyed that time to myself, I was able to relax and take the night to myself.  It went from RUSHED to RELAXED in a matter of minutes. And even though it seemed things fell apart since I was home much later, it all ended up working itself out. 

Being able to sit in the temple was amazing.  I was able to pass by the room we were married in 5 years ago, and it flooded my emotions. I was able to visit the room we waited in for an hour while our guests arrived. And the wife of the man who sealed us for time and all eternity was working/volunteering at the temple during my particular session.  I was reminded of that awesome day that changed my life forever. I loved every minute of it.  I love Spencer, and I love that I get to spend forever with him.  We are best friends, and we make really really cute kids.

Today was awesome too.  Amidst the stress of trying to finalize a couple big things, we were able to finally sit back for a moment this evening with our little family and enjoy a nice Texas thunderstorm!  One thing I missed terribly when I lived in Utah was a Texas thunderstorm.  Every time I came to visit I prayed we would get one! They have always had the most calming effect on my soul.  Seriously.  Spencer laughed when he found out.  I am usually watching the clock and making sure things get done as close to routinely as possible...  but when that storm hit, we just sat on the porch and enjoyed it.  And I loved watching Declan experience rain for the first time ever.  He loved it!

Norah and Declan are putting their feet where the rain is falling off the porch.

 Norah is pretty proud of the fact that she is SOAKED!

 Here is Alice soaking in the storm. She was nervous about the first storm she experience a couple weeks ago, but once we explained that lightening is nothing to be afraid of, she has grown to enjoy the storms as much as I have!

 Enjoying the storm on their camp chairs!

 Trying to get their feet wet.

And lastly, on Wednesday a fun pregnancy milestone crept up on me. I am officially in my 3rd trimester.  I can't believe how fast this has gone.  We weren't exactly planning this little one to come quite as soon as she is, but I am so glad it is happening this way. It has been the source of every decision that we made since we got here.  And has been such a great source of strength to our marriage and family.

We had been having promptings for a little while before we decided to let nature take its course. I remember just pleading with the Lord for the strength I needed to bring this baby into the world.  I needed to feel at peace and to be in a place I was comfortable.  And I was trying so hard to let Utah be that place...  I was trying so hard to be OK with it.  I felt almost like a failure when I admitted that I just needed to come home to embrace this task the Lord had placed before me... to be a YOUNG mother, to YOUNG children, all CLOSE in age.  In my mind I kept saying, "If this is what I need to do, I really need to go home or feel like this is home and be able to get over my differences with the dynamic here." (And then Spencer got the job in San Antonio. And now I get to live down the street from my best friend, which is AWESOME!  I mean we used to skype, but that just isn't the same.  Not even close. More on that in another post.)

Anyway, I am so grateful for the fact that my only 'complications' during pregnancy are extreme pain.  It kind of gears me up for labor actually...  I am grateful that my sweet babies all seem to understand that Lacy Anne will be coming and they are excited about it. We are all planning out the birth and learning what will take place. Alice is especially excited that she gets to be here.  She is wise beyond her years. She understands so much more than I thought she would.  Except that this baby is actually going to be mine and not hers... still working on that one.

Life is so full right now.  We have so many choices.  Sometimes it is more than we think we can handle, but one thing is for sure...  as long as we are doing what is right, we will always be blessed, whether we see it or not, the Lord is always on our side when we are on His.


And on another note: I LOVE that we do not have a TV!  More on that later, but it is the best thing we have ever done. Yes, we have Netflix days, but it is not the center of any room in our home, and it's great.  I love it!

Improve the Shining Moments

Sometimes a hymn says it all!

Improve the Shining Moments

1. Improve the shining moments;
Don't let them pass you by.
Work while the sun is radiant;
Work, for the night draws nigh.
We cannot bid the sunbeams
To lengthen out their stay,
Nor can we ask the shadow
To ever stay away.

2. Time flies on wings of lightning;
We cannot call it back.
It comes, then passes forward
Along its onward track.
And if we are not mindful,
The chance will fade away,
For life is quick in passing.
'Tis as a single day.

3. As wintertime doth follow
The pleasant summer days,
So may our joys all vanish
And pass far from our gaze.
Then should we not endeavor
Each day some point to gain,
That we may here be useful
And ev'ry wrong disdain?

4. Improve each shining moment.
In this you are secure,
For promptness bringeth safety
And blessings rich and pure.
Let prudence guide your actions;
Be honest in your heart;
And God will love and bless you
And help to you impart.

Text and music: Robert B. Baird, 1855-1916


As I read these verses, I couldn't help but realize that this is exactly what I have been trying to teach myself lately.

The first verse reminds me to take advantage of the good times, and to work hard and be productive. Trial will surely come, there's no avoiding it.

The second verse, time flies! It will come whether we are prepared for it or not. And there is no going back.

The third verse, well, I'm not a poet, so I may be wrong, but I read it as a way to treat life when it seems like you are just hopelessly in the middle of great trial. When the good times seems so far away that it is hard to be positive. Instead of wallowing, make an effort each day to serve and be useful, and put your wrongs beneath you.... Or just let it all go, in other words. This life is not supposed to be fair, and nobody is perfect... No matter what injustices you have endured, let it go.

And lastly, the fourth verse, great blessings come as we are proactive in improving the shining moments. As we strive to be quick to serve and do the Lord's will, we will protected from the adversary. I read it as more of a challenge.... Like, don't think your way out of selfless service, be quick and prompt to obey and serve. Don't think about how much is going on in your life when the opportunity to serve presents itself, be prompt, and in turn, help will come to you as well. Such is the philosophy, two people can accomplish much more than twice as much as one person can on their own. And, not to mention, all the rich and pure blessings that will come through this kind of service.

I so needed this reminder!

Here are three reasons why:

Blessings

Today was kind of an emotional roller coaster. Half of it I was calm and half I was overwhelmed by the list of things that didn't get done. I decided to end it as calm though.

Who cares about that silly list anyway. Sheesh.

The List has ruined my ability to just relax. Or maybe it's the nesting... Either way it's ridiculous.

My house is not clean, but it's not messy. That needs to be OK and not distracting from what matters.

Like playing Lost in the Woods (hide and seek) with the kids. Or getting them to bed before 7:30 so Spencer and I could spend an evening in. Or just snuggling and watching a movie instead of doing chores.

Anyway, during all of this I was reminded of just how blessed we are. We have gone through so many changes and still we come out on top. We work hard, and do what The Lord asks, and are greatly blessed, not without trial, but with tons of hope for the future.

We have been extremely blessed as a result of our diet changes and how we bring our babies into this world when prompted. So many things guided us to these changes, and I know for a fact that I would not be capable of being productive with my kids while pregnant if my nutrition was terrible. It's like, God knew this, so he placed people and information in my path for the sole purpose if making my body the proper vessel for bringing forth His spirit children into this world. He also knew that it would improve Spencer's mind, such that he would become more valuable in his field and get us to where we needed to be to raise our family... With the most sanity possible.

Through all of this I have learned, God really cares about His children. Including those yet to come. I feel like an instrument. Like all these blessings are here because he cares about the child I'm carrying as much as he cares about me.