We are so grateful there were no complications and we were able to go home the next day. I was sad that circumstances didn't allow us to have her at home, but grateful for the comforting power of the priesthood, the spirit, prayer and faith.
Today I was recalling to Spencer how differently this new baby is being treated in comparison to our first. As chill as we tried to be as first time parents, we let popular opinion and beliefs on how to raise children cloud our instincts. With each new addition we stray further and further away from books and reviews and rely far more heavily on the spirit, scriptures and faith.
I remember being so paranoid about getting it all wrong. I was worried I would ruin my children if I didn't follow the 'rules' in teaching them independence. We went from structured time of holding and bonding with our baby to pretty much wearing or holding our babies whenever they need/want (except at the stove or when it's not possible). We tried to structure how grandparents got involved, and now, the grandparent disruption from routine is now part of the routine. We used to stress about the tiniest inconvenience to the nap and bedtime schedule, and now we are like, meh, whatevs.
I remember reading about how we needed to detach our children ASAP to ensure their independence. I remember reading about how important it was for me to maintain my own identity. Which brings me to my ultimate realization, my babies ARE my identity. My passions and hobbies are all a PART of who I am, and I know there are things I need to be solely my own for sanity purposes, but as far as my identity crisis is concerned, it's over.
Because this right here, is who I am.
