Lessons I Learn As A Young, Mormon Mom 002

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

-Helen Keller

CHARACTER IS BUILT SLOWLY, THROUGH MUCH TIME AND EFFORT.

Recently, I've undertaken the task of running a half marathon (13.1 miles.... All at once). Saturdays we have our long runs and there's always a we involved. And usually I'm physically exhausted the rest of the day. I'm fine the next day, after a full night's rest, but the day I run.... I literally cannot push myself.

This morning as we were running, we took a route that had no street lamps and it made the run feel much longer than it was... I kept thinking of this awesome parallel to life. How much easier life is when the way is lit, and how hard it is when it's not.  Then I thought of how much easier it seemed to be with friends. Especially during those dark times. I was taken back to all my awkwardness after baby number 3, when I felt avoided and thought less of because my struggles seemed to get the best of me. Perhaps I think of this time in my life so much because it was sort of a turning point for me. I learned what kind of friend I wanted to be. Running with those awesome ladies reminded me of this. During life's perilous and dark times it is better to have a loved one with you than be alone. 

The other parallel..... Since I'm training for a half, I'm constantly reminded of how slow I am. There is no way to cut corners in training without serious, physical ramifications. You really have to add mileage only one week or so at a time, and speed comes through constantly pushing yourself past your threshold. AND the key to improving is to take breaks/rest days to let your body heal from all the work. 

Parallel time. Character is built much the same way, as are patience, long suffering, faith, testimony and many other principles and self mastery.  In order to improve and grow we must literally engage in the action or principle of desired improvement. You're not gonna wake up one day and be able to just be an awesome person. (Unless you're me ;) it takes constant, diligent, slow effort and far more time than anyone has patience for. And growth comes once we've been pushed or push ourselves past our threshold and then take the time to reflect and ponder the lesson in our trials.

One thing I've learned is that change doesn't happen over night. Faith isn't acquired in a day. In order to build solid faith or character, built on correct principles, you have to live those principles.  You cannot expect to make it to the finish line if you're not even stepping in the right direction.

I'm always intrigued when people think that same actions can yield different results. If I want to look like a runner, I need to run. If I want to conquer a half marathon, I need to train. If I want my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ to know I love them, I need to keep the commandments and love those around me. If I want to have good character I need to BE good. 

Tomorrow is Sunday. Time to start anew!
 

Lessons I Learn As A Young, Mormon Mom 001

This isn't the first lesson I've learned, but it is fresh right now, so it is the first one going on public record.

There is NO SUCH THING AS PERFECT.

In this life, the word perfect is a mere figment, an ideal, a mirage, if you will.  There is no way to find that balance and keep it.  We have a day here and there of what we WISH and HOPE daily life would look and feel like, but it is not the norm, although we claim it to be.

Does that mean I stop trying to attain that perfection of a well-balanced home and family?  No.  It just means I don't have to beat myself up if I don't get it right all the time.  

Today I read an article directed to Stay At Home Moms (SAHMs), and I felt so honored and empowered. I felt like JUST being a stay at home mom was really as amazing as I thought it was.  All over the internet you will find one article or another defending SAHM's, and a few defending career moms.  Insecure much? Most women are, no matter what they do.  Moms are just moms, we make choices every day. And a good mom is one who does what she and her husband think is best for their children.  There is no right or wrong, only good, better, best, and that will be different for everyone.

The other day, a friend commented about how they couldn't do what I do.  She needed her life to be as it was, there was no way she could have her kids as close as I did.  I thought a lot about that over the course of the following days.  What I came to was, you're right, there is no way you could do what I do, you're not me.

I never thought, in a million years that I would have kids this close, or this soon.  But we like to think of ourselves as a God-fearing parents, and when the Lord prompted, we listened.  During each pregnancy I had my fair share of doubts as to my adequacy as a mom.  But I also had faith that if the Lord wanted me to have this child, I would have and develop what it takes to nurture and raise them the way HE intended me to. After all, I am raising God's children, not just my own, and I have been allowed stewardship over these sweet spirits.

There isn't a single right way to be a woman, wife, mom, sister, daughter, grandmother, granddaughter or aunt. Whether that involves working outside the home (as a mother) or not, the point is, that I take pride in what I do, and do it to the best of my ability. Most of all, it is important that I do what the LORD would have me do, and for me that is staying at home with my children. Sure I am able to work at home, but my first priority is to my family, as it is for most working moms as well.  You see, being a mom is hard, no matter how you look at it.  Whether we stay at home or not, we are constantly held responsible for how the house runs.  The home is our domain, it is our territory, and we are the fortifiers of it.  It is a heavy task, but it is ours, and others can only help.  No matter how much society tries to force men into this role, it is against human nature, the husband's role is to equally help and take partnership, but it is my primary role.

I personally believe that while children are in the home, staying at home during their most malleable hours, days, and years is essential.  Does that mean everyone can do this? No.  However, I also believe in the Atonement of Christ.  In cases where the ideal cannot be met, Christ makes up the difference. Grace isn't just for judgement day.  It is for here and now.  We do our BEST and Christ makes up the rest.  There is this Enabling Power to the Atonement, it allows us to see past the world's opinions and zero in on the Lord's errands for us in this day and age, and enables us to fulfill His will for us, despite our obstacles or challenges.

Here and now, I am a young mom, and I will never be perfect.  I will never match everyone's opinion of what a mom SHOULD be.  I can only DO my BEST to be what the Lord intended for me to be.  For right now, that is JUST a Stay at Home Mom (which includes, but is certainly not limited to: Wife, Mother, Taxi Driver, Nurse, Fitness Coach, Chef, Story Time Reader, Teacher, Referee, Horse, Hero, Villain, Imaginator, Friend, Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Aunt, Servant, Incubator, Butler, Housekeeper, Student, Grocery Shopper, Singer, Songwriter, CEO, COO, CFO... you get the picture, Trainer, Example, Project Manager, HR, and the list goes on...), and, I must say, I love my job!