This past weekend I had the privilege of attending a seminar for women. It is called Time Out For Women. And I loved it!
My favorite lesson from the weekend was this:
When God gives you trials, it is because he knows you are ready to grow.
It reminded me of the overload principle I learned when in school.
A training principle that states that in order for adaptation to occur, a greater than normal stress or load on the body is required for training adaptation to take place.[1] This is done by increasing any parameter of fitness to make the muscles work harder than they are accustomed to (overload). [2][3] "For improvement and adaptation to occur the training should be at an intensity where the individual feels some kind of stress and discomfort." [4] (http://athletics.wikia.com/wiki/Overload_Principle)
It really is just like this! Our spirits and our bodies are DIRECTLY related to one another. We must nourish them both equally, and exercise them regularly to be prepared for what our lives have in store.
And I must say, God must think me pretty buff, because I certainly feel myself lifting a lot these days.
Being a mom of 4 is totally different than I imagined. I didn’t put a whole lot of thought into this stage of my life, the being tired, having babies, not being able to accomplish everything I need to in one day part. I would think about when our kids were a little older and we did fun things together. Good thing I had no idea what I was getting myself into… lol! Just kidding… I knew it would be hard, but you can never be prepared for exactly what type of hard it will be at any given time. You just have to go through it.
If I want to run a marathon, I have to RUN. I can’t just build my leg muscles in other ways and expect to run a full marathon without actually running at all in the first place.
Just like, I can read a bazillion books on parenting, but it will not prepare me for MY children until I put the books down and actually parent them. God granted me stewardship over these precious spirits. I have all the tools I need to raise them as HE would have me do. Studying out of the scriptures, best books, and through the experience of others, will expose me to what those tools are and how to use them.
Life is hard. Raising kids is harder… staying happily married while doing it is the hardest part. But it IS possible!
It is my goal to become who Father intended me to become. My biggest struggle is letting go of the fact the world will never praise me for the amazing Daughter of God and mother of my children than I am. I will never be rewarded in the ways of the world. The world sees me as JUST a stay at home mom. According to them, I am insignificant and I am not making a difference in the world. According to them, I will never help advance technology, and unless I can brag about the million OTHER things I busy myself with, being JUST a mom will never be enough.
I feel this way when I am down… like I should be able to do it all… I shouldn’t feel the need for a housekeeper… I am home all day, so why is my house a mess and why is writing this blog post taking me a week?! My house should be spotless, my kids should always be clean, my husband should always see a smile on my face.
Hogwash.
Being JUST a mom is crazy! The kids make messes while you clean the other ones up, making, eating, and cleaning a meal takes so much longer than one thinks, and you have to do this 3-5 times BEFORE dinner, one kid is always waking up from a nap when the last one finally falls asleep, your husband is confused as to why you are so tired by the end of the day because the house sure holds no reflection of how you were literally on your feet all day and your kids have no idea why you yell at them for complaining about eating a dinner you had no desire to make in the first place, but did because you are their mom and are fully responsible for their nourishment. You have difficulty sitting down for any period of time because you know there are things that need to get done, but it just feels so good to sit down and you are just so tired and the couch looks so comfortable… wait, gotta get back up…. as kids get older it’s soccer, dance, karate, gymnastics, school, field trips, piano, violin, guitar, football, track, theatre, fencing, and whatever else they dream of wanting. All of your life is spent giving them the best life experience you can possibly afford. The funny thing about it is, at least in my short experience as a mom, kids like to do fun things, but most of all, they just like to do fun things with their moms. My favorite experiences all involve my mom. Whether it was jumping into her bed after a first date to tell her all about it, or taking a trip with her and my sisters. Quality time is what keeps families together, families that stay together create solid individuals, solid individuals make a difference. Those resigned to think that anything is more important than being JUST a mom, is mistaken. That is the foundation for everything. If you think you could exist any other way, you are wrong.
After a week of feeling insecure that my job title is JUST Stay At Home Mom I had two good friends - unbeknownst to them- within days of each other, help me shift my paradigm. (this won’t be the last time this happens, I’m sure) Both of these women have had careers. They are both moms who became moms in their early 30’s. One of them is pregnant for the second time. She was explaining how when this baby is born she will quit her job… her reason is simply that she really loves being a mom and she has way more fun being a mom than working part time. The other mom made her comment during that weekend at Time Out For Women. The ladies in our group all stayed up talking Friday night, and a question was asked, something like “Aside from being a mom, what is your one big passion, that if you could do, you would do in a heartbeat?” We all tried to answer, a couple people said they really never thought of anything else and really loved being moms. But then the other mom told of how she had already had a chance to experience grad school, and a career, and honestly, there is nothing greater to her than just being a mom.
I realized that, since it is a big struggle for me to fully immerse myself in motherhood, that I need to put more faith and trust in God. I think too much about all the ‘other’ things that define me. Which is why I am always reminding myself that I am a mom, and even posting it all over the internet. Mostly because, being a mom is hard…. really hard.
Which brings me back to this:
When God gives you trials, it is because he knows you are ready to grow.
And such is life.
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